Here is a tale of a veritable food orgy. Which is actually my second food orgy this month. The first being The Miracle Fruit Party at Franz’s, which he will recount for you because he’s a much more hilarious writer than I am. Plus his camera has the photos I took of the event. But he’s lazy, so it’ll take him awhile. And he’s also my boss, so I can’t yell at him.

Last night, I got to tag along one of Matt’s company outings - a feast at Congee Village (the Bowery location). I was planning on making The Barefoot Contessa’s Chicken with Forty Cloves of Garlic recipe, but I couldn’t pass up a free meal. Especially a free Asian meal. Especially a free Asian meal that involved weird shit.

We were seated downstairs, in a private room with three large tables and two tvs for karaoke. The karaoke was Asian-style, meaning that the backing music was musak - but that didn’t stop anyone.

I ate so many different kinds of animals: Flounder, lobster, crab, shrimp, squid, two kinds of clams (razor and geoduck), snails, pork, beef, frog, chicken and maybe a mystery meat or two. There was literally a zoo in my belly. And thankfully, they all got along- maybe it was because 90% of the dishes were deep fried and covered in, what I am assuming, delicious MSG.

The first thing they brought out was chicken feet. My first one ever! Good seasoning, little return for the effort - too much bone and cartlidge.

Then came a slew of more hors d’oeuvres: Peanuts. Deep fried shrimp. Deep fried frog (tasted like catfish). Geoduck sashimi (photo to the right, tasted like cartilage). Deep fried geoduck. Deep fried bitter melon (yuck). Deep fried intestine of something (tasted like pork belly). Deep fried squid. Deep fried spare ribs. Snails in black bean sauce. Razor clams with black bean sauce (below). Winter melon soup (which I hadn’t had in years).

Then there was an appetizer: Lobster salad with mayo jizz and diced apple and honeydew in a papaya shell (I ate two of these).

Main course (yes, there was more): Flouder, two ways with snow peas and scallions (seen in the photo below, in the front). Crab (which I am pretty sure was rotten) with rice noodles and crab juice. Sauteed baby bok choy. Grilled green beans with sauteed onions and some sort of meat (beef or pork and maybe anchovies). Pork fried rice. House Specialty chicken (I don’t know how they did it, but it tasted a lot like duck). T-bone steak with giant mushrooms (seen in first photo up top, in the front)

Dessert: Donut type dealie with reduced condensed milk dipping sauce.

Gluttony and pride: I tried every single one of those dishes. I really don’t know how I managed to eat all of that and managed to avert getting the itis.

Congee Village also offers birds nest soup and shark fin soup: Both considered Chinese delicacies. And I’m sure they contain good luck and have curative properties.

Thanks to Rokkan for letting ChewFood share in the delicious bounty.