Slow food
Posted by Chewy on Monday, January 7th, 2008
There’s a cooking show on WLIW 21 called Everyday Food that is produced by Martha Stewart. I’m not quite sure of the premise, but I think it’s about a bunch of lesbians with no personalities who live in a house and take turns cooking in an awesome looking kitchen with awesome equipment and an awesome view. They cook simple, (mostly) fresh, healthy food. And they do it painfully slow. I want to reach into the television, grab them by the collar and tell them to hurry the fuck up I’m fucking hungry why the fuck is it taking you ten minutes to chop a fucking pepper you fucking donkey and why the fuck do you all have french manicures and handle raw produce like it’s a live cockroach fucking get in there and cook with some balls you goddamn automatons.
ChewFood grade of food made: A-
ChewFood grade of hosts: D+
Just because you are a woman it doesn’t mean you have to cook like a pussy.
Categories: 
Discussion: 
Use of the word automaton: A
Comment written by Rob on 9:48 pm on the 7th of January, 2008
There is a certain subtlety to this piece which I find rather refreshing…
Keep up the good work.
Farmer
Comment written by Farmer de Ville on 12:23 pm on the 8th of January, 2008
Hilarious, Chewy! But I fear with your restaurant-trained eye, you’d find me an insufferably slow cooker too.
Comment written by Terry B on 4:45 pm on the 10th of January, 2008
I don’t expect at home cookers to be fast. But with the magic of television and editing, TV cooking show hosts shouldn’t be all housewifey. Even Rachael Ray cooks faster than these broads.
Comment written by Chewy on 11:57 pm on the 10th of January, 2008
Great posting and Blog! Funny Stuff My company hospitalitylawyer.com just released a new video and it will make you laugh, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYBpzZw0_JI
The Hospitality Lawyer
Comment written by Hospitality Lawyer on 12:53 pm on the 11th of January, 2008
I feel a hate crime coming on every time I watch that show.
Comment written by Trevor on 9:00 pm on the 20th of January, 2008
Dear Chewy,
i was hoping to be able to send you an e-mail directly, but i coulden’t find your contact info. so here it goes:
Devour.tv - the cutting edge of food entertainment - is seeking bloggers for a NY food video-blogging show.
If you are unfamiliar with Devour.tv see Bickering Foodies with Arthur Schwartz -
http://www.devour.tv/web/video/show/vid/19 - or go to www.Devour.tv to see any of the 120 shows that we have already produced.
If you are interested in co-hosting a video-blog please contact Watson Blair at wb@uncooked.tv. and place Video Blogger in the subject header.
Below is the skinny on devour.tv
Sincerely,
The Devour Team
Comment written by Watson Blair on 2:00 pm on the 23rd of January, 2008
i just watched this show Monday with my parents for the first time. I had the same reaction I do to that “semi-homemade” chick.
I must share though, that my father announced, astonished, the the hostess/chefs had been given, “do-overs!” I believe he meant make-overs, but do-overs actually makes more sense. Compared to the picture you posted above, they were all tarted up like that Italian chick from the food network who never buttons her shirt.
Comment written by stephTM on 7:56 pm on the 27th of March, 2008