You can’t polish a turd
Posted by Chewy on Sunday, March 23rd, 2008
As I mentioned before, Quench, the douche bar on Smith Street closed down. I was pretty psyched to hear a wine and cheese bar was opening up, because I love cheese. And although I know almost nothing about wine, I do enjoy it now and then.
I’ve been into the replacement bar, The Jake Walk, on Smith Street a handful of times since it opened. Of course, with my luck, they always stop serving food just at the time I get there after work. I went in this week with some of the waitrons from The Restaurant. I ordered a $6 glass of blended red. It smelled like ass. I tasted it. It tasted like ass. I gave it to everyone at table to sample to see if I was wrong and everyone smelled it and refused to take a sip. So I placed the glass on the far, empty end of our table to signal to the server or bartender there was a problem. Too bad the bartender and barwench were too busy chumming it up with each other and not keeping an eye on the bar or the tables. Eventually the bartender comes over and after using the word “ass” and asking him to smell the wine he gives a diplomatic answer that everyone has a different palate. I ask for a glass of the $5 wine my friend was drinking. The tab comes and they end up charging me for both glasses. Fucking lame.
Isn’t it part of a bartenders job to make sure their stock is up to par? Especially while working at a wine bar, where your product can go rancid in a few days? I mean, at some restaurants, servers have to get the manager to smell and taste every bottle that’s opened or has been opened for a couple of days. Also, being a new bar, wouldn’t you try not to alienate customers?
What I do like about the place is the decor and the concept. I would love to go back. But too bad I’ve only seen the same three people working the bar and I don’t like the cut of any of their jibs. I’ll stick to the beer bar (Bar Great Harry) across the street, where they are very welcoming, apologetic if anything gets fucked up and not up their own asses.
The Jake Walk
282 Smith Street, at Sackett
Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Smugness Alert: Code Orange
Attentiveness of staff: D
Decor: A-
Food: I wouldn’t fucking know and I’m bitter about it
Drink menu: Too big for me, but I guess serious wine and whisky drinkers will love it
Ratio of female to male customers: Clam Bar, 6:1
Yeah, keep on Jake Walkin’ until you hit Bar Great Harry.
Categories: 
Discussion: 
This is too funny. I think you may have made the guy bristle by using the word “ass”, though. Oddly enough, exactly one year ago today (I know this because I was just looking through my digital camera pics, sorted by date), I tried to send back a bottle of white at Bar Veloce in the East Village. The word “urine” may have figured in my wording. I got a curt speech about differing palates and that was that.
Comment written by Michele on 10:18 pm on the 23rd of March, 2008
Why do people get slightly offended? It’s not like these bartenders made the wines themselves. Maybe they are just embarrassed about not doing their jobs properly. Way to earn that tip.
Comment written by Chewy on 10:21 pm on the 23rd of March, 2008
some bars and restaurants just have bad building karma. like whatever opens in that place is cursed to suck. or be run by douchebags.
Comment written by laduchessa on 1:24 pm on the 24th of March, 2008
D, you are always right. Anthony Bourdain said the same thing about restaurant spaces in “Kitchen Confidential”. But this new bar is almost always crowded. Filled to brim with just-of-age girls who like to treat themselves to some wine in a classy looking joint. I assume these ladies get intimidated by craft beer and all the thirty-something dudes that hang out at the beer bar.
It’s shitty that shitty service will ruin an establishment for me.
Comment written by Chewy on 2:29 pm on the 24th of March, 2008
I was reading an interview with a sommelier recently and you’re totally right - if it tastes like ass you should absolutely be able to send it back and not get charged.
Comment written by Lauren on 12:31 pm on the 26th of March, 2008
Had some bad experiences at Jake Walk myself. I prefer that Black Mountain Wine House two blocks away on Union and Hoyt. The staff is as friendly as it gets, and go out of their way to make sure you are enjoying your wine. oh, and they serve food until 12 at night which might be more convenient for your work schedule.
Comment written by Anthony on 1:08 pm on the 14th of April, 2008
Black Mountain is cute! I love their charcuterie and cheeses, but I problems with their other foodstuffs.
I didn’t like our waiter: He seemed too cool for school and was asking every table to pay in cash so the staff could be tipped out. Kinda tacky.
But I’d go back there. Unlike Jake Walk.
Comment written by Chewy on 4:36 pm on the 14th of April, 2008