It’s that time again. Time to look at the Google searches that got people to my little food blog. This time, I’m even gonna attempt to help people with their problems!

Searches are listed with most common to least common. So, again, people are obsessed with male cooks on television being gay.

• nathan lyon gay
• robert irvine gay
• bobby deen gay
• andrew zimmern “fat fuck”
• “hot sex” drink
• food fuck
• fresh hot good fish steamed light white healthy delicious
• fuck gout
• fried pork chop good for gout (I’m gonna go with ‘no’ for this one.)
• gay goose “michael chiarello”
• how to have a clean butthole (Um. Wash it daily?)
• how to make chinese soy sauce porn (Chinese people + soy sauce + camera = success!)
• lesbians sharing chewed food
• lose sex apetite after i drink (Then don’t drink, whiskey dick. Duh.)
• penis handled cookware
• extreme huge pussy (See: “robert irvine gay”)
• turd too big
• bizzare foods andrew zimmern penis
• dog ate mac n cheese now has diarrhea
• pho, honky bowl
• seal feces recipe (Dude.)
• “take home chef”+do they plant a person in the supermarket (I dunno, but they should plant a host in there.)
• ate expired banana chip (Oh, no! You’re gonna die!)
• gordon ramsay your cooking on a burnt pan you fucking donkey
• gout olives doritos (I’d totally try that flavor)
• the fat king hnery that ate all the food

My pick for funniest, stupidest, saddest AND most grammatically incorrect:

• how can i do to get my cock big with what foods to eat

Gay.

Gay.

Totally gay.

Just a fat guy that likes penis.