Trivia night is tonight at Bar Great Harry. Located at the corner of Smith and Sackett in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. Hosted by a couple of crazy kids from Rocketship, the comic book store. 8:30pm. Dogs and dawgs welcome. One scumbag at a time, please.

“Look, my gut tells me Backstreet, and that’s where my brain is. With my gut. They is roomates. But sometimes they don’t get along too well – you know they is always arguing about the bills.”

I first heard about Reds Produce from a FOH trailer at The Restaurant. He mentioned it was right around the corner from where I live. I looked it up on Gothamist (which was the only site that had any real information about the place) and walked by it last night after Matt and I got burgers from Hope & Anchor and picking up a large supply of Twinning’s English Breakfast Tea from Fairway ($10 for a hundred pack!).

Tonight Matt and I went for dinner. It’s a super tiny tapas bar (28-seats and a max of 44 people) right by Moonshine. Working the bar was Red himself (who was born in northern Spain and used to be in the hardcore band YDL) along with Pamela–both extremely welcoming and friendly. They’ve only been open three weeks and are awaiting their liquor liscense–they will have draught beers and Spanish wine ($5 house wine!). Soon they will be selling produce and dried goods–most of it is imported from Spain. So I guess locavores aren’t supposed to be down with it, but dude, it’s got less “carbon footprints” then actually flying to Spain. In your self-righteous face!

Meat and cheese plate: Featuring drunken goat cheese (the rind is washed in wine), serrano ham, membrillo, dried fig and almond cake, some really extreme gnarly blue cheese (cabrales) that looks like it’s fifty years old, manchego and some other cheese.

Small tres colores salad: Carrot with tarragon, beet root and celery root.

Warm chorizo that was super intense. I’m talking caliente, papi!

They want to have live music as well as screen films from local artists. At first they were open ass early for breakfast, but as of now they are open every evening until ten (they are going to change their hours to stay open later).

Reds Produce is located at 289 Columbia Street between Summit and Woodhull (in that area some people call Carroll Gardens, others call Red Hook and a few call Columbia Street Waterfront), Brooklyn (718) 506-5432

As I mentioned before, Quench, the douche bar on Smith Street closed down. I was pretty psyched to hear a wine and cheese bar was opening up, because I love cheese. And although I know almost nothing about wine, I do enjoy it now and then.

I’ve been into the replacement bar, The Jake Walk, on Smith Street a handful of times since it opened. Of course, with my luck, they always stop serving food just at the time I get there after work. I went in this week with some of the waitrons from The Restaurant. I ordered a $6 glass of blended red. It smelled like ass. I tasted it. It tasted like ass. I gave it to everyone at table to sample to see if I was wrong and everyone smelled it and refused to take a sip. So I placed the glass on the far, empty end of our table to signal to the server or bartender there was a problem. Too bad the bartender and barwench were too busy chumming it up with each other and not keeping an eye on the bar or the tables. Eventually the bartender comes over and after using the word “ass” and asking him to smell the wine he gives a diplomatic answer that everyone has a different palate. I ask for a glass of the $5 wine my friend was drinking. The tab comes and they end up charging me for both glasses. Fucking lame.

Isn’t it part of a bartenders job to make sure their stock is up to par? Especially while working at a wine bar, where your product can go rancid in a few days? I mean, at some restaurants, servers have to get the manager to smell and taste every bottle that’s opened or has been opened for a couple of days. Also, being a new bar, wouldn’t you try not to alienate customers?

What I do like about the place is the decor and the concept. I would love to go back. But too bad I’ve only seen the same three people working the bar and I don’t like the cut of any of their jibs. I’ll stick to the beer bar (Bar Great Harry) across the street, where they are very welcoming, apologetic if anything gets fucked up and not up their own asses.

The Jake Walk
282 Smith Street, at Sackett
Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Smugness Alert: Code Orange
Attentiveness of staff: D
Decor: A-
Food: I wouldn’t fucking know and I’m bitter about it
Drink menu: Too big for me, but I guess serious wine and whisky drinkers will love it
Ratio of female to male customers: Clam Bar, 6:1

Yeah, keep on Jake Walkin’ until you hit Bar Great Harry.

This really fucking annoying bar on the corner of Smith and Sackett has closed it doors forever this past Saturday. Quench had more guidos, meatheads and bimbos hanging out outside of it instead of drinking inside of it. It blasted stupid music like the crap that goes “nst-nst-nst” and Bon Jovi. Stereotypes from Bay Ridge would show up drunk and driving, in sweatpants, full of cat-calls and pick fights with each other. Even the people who worked inside would do asshole things.

PS-What’s replacing it is a cheese and wine bar by the owners of Stinky Brooklyn (cheese shop) and Smith & Vine (liquor store).

Smell you later, Quench. Smell you later, forever.

Apparently there’s a short clip of me cooking at The Restaurant on NY1 (local NYC tv channel). It’s part of a segment about the new Zagat Best of Brooklyn book . I haven’t seen it yet and the NY1 OnDemand is janky.

If I had my own cooking show, it would pretty much look like this.

Dear Joey V.,

This muggy June weather has given me a case of the vapors. So last Saturday I went to cool off with a few tastey beverages at a bar down the block that I think that you actually own in the future. But Future Joe hasn’t met Present Joe because that would fuck-up the space-time continuum and the world would implode into a black hole and Doc Brown would not be able to help you out.

It’s called Moonshine and I was too drunk to figure out if they actually had any moonshine. Nevertheless, I have my own moonshine if you would like to partake. I wonder if we could make some sort of “bomb” beverage with moonshine and PBR? What would we call it? The Freedom Bomb, perhaps?

Peanut shells on the floor, PBR on tap and Big Buck Hunter. They have three dozen different whiskeys and BYOM (bring your own meat to grill at their outdoor space). Beers in cans include Schlitz, Olde E, Tecate, Old Milwaukee, Colt 45, Genesee Cream Ale and more. Said beers are available in bucket deals.

They also have a juke box I do think you would appreciate even though Fugazi’s “Waiting Room” isn’t on it.

And it smells better than B-Sides.

Looking forward to getting drunk with you sometime soon and accidentally knocking over some parking meters at 317 Columbia Street Brooklyn, NY.

Your friend,
Chewy B.

PS: Shnäck is now BYOB.

Doc Brown needs to chill the eff out and have a whisky.

Full vegetable share from the Carroll Gardens CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). Clockwise from left: Pea shoots, radishes, mixed greens, Boston lettuce, red Russian kale (I’m pretty sure this vegetable is a communist), bok choi (also a communist) and asparagus.

Pokey does not appreciate organic greens nor communists.

Anyone who doesn’t like the Bohiemian Hall & Beer Garden in Astoria is a communist. You can drink cheap pitchers of Hoegaarden outside with your friends and not have to deal with annoying douchebags hitting on you.

Soon Williamsburg kids won’t have to make the treck into Queens for very long as Williamsburg is getting their own. One with a retractable roof. Ooh-la-la!
+ =

Do you think the new beer garden will serve up PBR, tofu dogs and irony?

Official website. Unfortunately, they don’t say WHERE it is. They do say June 29 to July 31st, which doesn’t sound right. Nor do they have a contact number or email address. They must have outsourced some sweatshop website designers.

Another site told me it’s at 66 Water Street in DUMBO, Brooklyn. June 29 to July 1st. Admission is free. Singapore food emphasizes seafood!

Don’t hate on big shitty food festivals, Mr. Kim

Wednesday night’s Stone Park Cafe / Six Point Brewery dinner.

Short post about it because I was in a rush and forgot my camera. They had a couple of Six Point brew masters there. Not only was the theme beer pairing, but it was also smoke. Cold smoked creme fraiche potato salad. Alder smoked black cod. And smoked choco ice cream! (Which I think may be a novelty, but it was fun to try nonetheless.)

The beers were well paired (you got about eight ounces of beers per course), except for the wheat beer with the amuse of Vietnamese spare ribs. Matt said they should have served something with more carbonation to cleanse your palate of the grease. The brewmaster said he paired it because the wheat beer has a hint of pineapple at the finish and he thought it might have worked well with the Asian style of the mini ribs.

The almost barely visible sprinkle of Maldon sea salt on the sirloin means told me that I was in a fine dining establishment. Fine dining seasoning! (Which is a phrase I’m going to use anytime I put salt on anything. Thanks, Michele!)

They did something cute and brought out teeny servings of hops, malt and barley between courses for you to sniff and taste. The malt and barley would make for awesome granola. The hops were inedible, but look like green rabbit pellets and smelled faintly like weed.

I got the itis halfway through the meal.

Service was poor for the first part of the meal, but I think they were slammed. Apparently they were supposed to know someone from The Restaurant was coming in, but I didn’t get to meet the chef. It’s okay though, I wasn’t in the mood for schmoozing because of said itis.

This was delicious and fun and I’d definitely do it again. I think $55 pp for six courses and booze is pretty fair.