My problem with Starbucks is that they do not have simple syrup out on their little fixin’s bar. I see people order ice coffees and put white or raw sugar in it. I cringe at the thought of getting a mouthful of grainy, sweet sugar while trying to chillax and enjoy a refreshing iced coffee on a hot day. Especially since you just paid $4 for it. You have to ask for their “classic flavored” syrup when ordering, I’m pretty sure they charge you for it, and you don’t even get to control the amount they put in. Big mistake, Starbucks. You’ve made The List.

The place around the corner from me, The Coffee Den, is where I get my iced coffees from. They are kinda expensive ($3 for a large) and the coffee isn’t the best. However, they have simple syrup out which I greatly appreciate.

Simple syrup is so named because it’s really effing simple. Sugar + water + heat = deliciousness. You can make it during a commercial break of Hell’s Kitchen and it’s extremely hard to eff up. And because of this newfangled thing called “science”, the syrup is actually about 20% sweeter than the OG sugar.

Take equal parts sugar and water and heat in a sauce pan over medium heat, stirring occasionally until the sugar dissolves. You can add more sugar if you want it thicker. Store at room temperature or in the fridge for several months. (I use raw sugar, which I just found out isn’t actually better for you.)

Make flavored simple syrup by throwing in a cinnamon stick, a vanilla pod, some lemongrass or a few citrus rinds. Put it in iced beverages, adult beverages, over fruit or whatever else Google tells you you can do with it.

R. Kelly is currently working on a song about sex and simple syrup.

I am beginning to wonder why most Food Network cooks tell you to use olive oil for everything.

You see, I just bought a new drum of extra virgin olive oil (organical Fairway brand) and that shit is flavorful. So flavorful that it can overwhelm your food and palate.

Plus, olive oil has a relatively low smoke point, which doesn’t make it ideal for high heat cooking (I’m staring at a recipe right now that is telling me to coat beef in olive oil before searing it).

At The Restaurant, we use an oil blend (I think it’s mostly veg and some soy) for 99% of things. I asked Chef why they use both the olive oil and the blend for dressing salads and he said it’s because he doesn’t want just the taste of olive oil to come through. Makes sense.

Neutral-flavored oils are: Corn, peanut, canola, grapeseed, sunflower, safflower and light olive oil (”light” referring to the taste, not the fat or calorie content).

Here’s a handy little guide for your cooking needs. Fuck what the recipes say and go with science. From whatscookingamerica.net:

Scienticians say too much evoo can cause
automatonitis and corporate shillitis

I am really big on trying new foods. Here’s a short list of foods that I’ve eaten for the first time lately:

Ramps: The Restaurant has been getting ramps in. We sautee it in a cast iron pan or grill it, chop it and add a small bit of it to the duck confit risotto. It’s an amazing vibrant green color, looks like a leafy scallion and tastes like concentrated garlic meets leek. They are in season right now and for another month or so. Here’s a recent NY Mag piece about them.

Salsify: Another ingredient at The Restaurant. It looks look like a long, skinny parsnip covered in dirt. It’s a root vegetable with the texture of parsnip (less stringy, though) or celery root. There are good, but I don’t know if they are worth the prep work (your hands get really dirty and sticky when peeling them). They are supposed to have a faint taste of oysters, but I don’t get that. Maybe because I’m not a supertaster.

Sweetbreads: I am against veal. I have never purposely ordered it, but I will try a bite if someone else does. But I figured if I am going to be a chef, I have to put away my food convictions and try everything. So I ordered veal sweetbreads as my meat course at L’École. It’s extremely tender, pretty silky and tasty. From what I understand, they are extremely perishable and you need to take care when prepping them (they need to be soaked in acidic water or milk). It’s a luxury along the lines of foie gras.

Meurgez: Vincent brought over some of these Moroccan lamb sausages to my house warming party. Juicy, spicy, flavorful. Ah, it’ll be hard to go back to regular sausages.

Have you tried anything new and noteworthy?

Here’s a NY Times article by Mark Bittman about cooking gear. (Check out his list of kitchen item you CAN live without – including what Joey V. has been saying for years, the microwave.) I heart Mark Bittman: He’s so much more useful to the average person than Frank Bruni or New York Magazine are.

It’s coincidental with what I’ve been thinking about lately. I’ve been obsessing about knives and knife brands. But having a kick-ass, impressive knife won’t make me a better cook. Of course, it’ll help make my prep work easier and faster. But I think in the end, for home cooking, as long as your one chef’s knife (and maybe a paring knife) is comfortable and consistently sharpened, you’ll be alright.

Minimal kitchen gear and multi-taskers.

This why I’m going to be stubborn and stick to my guns about not buying a salad spinner.

Keep it simple, stoopidhead.

Lately, brunch has been a big bummer. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it should be one of the most revered meals of the week. You can choose breakfast food, lunch food, or something in between, plus, drinking is actually encouraged. It is more or less a perfect meal.

But lately, restaurants have had a massive amount of suck-age when it comes to this fantastic meal. If waiting 45 minutes for a meal with a blinding hangover headache doesn’t deter you, the fact that once seated, you’ll be given the check before you’re half way through you meal might. I thought at first it was just the trendy neighborhood I live in, where the combination of youth, drinking and disposable incomes translated into long lines and rushed service. Even with a rather large variety of restaurants to choose from, it was a mostly unpleasant experience. Recent forays into the city and and other parts of Brooklyn have unfortunately let me to believe that this is a prevalent phenomenon.

Once you finally get a seat, coffee, and alcoholic beverage of choice, looking at the brunch menu has become a little disappointing as well. It seems like most places are catering to the lower common taste denominator. Biscuits and gravy are good, but should they be so ubiquitous that even the Mexican joint serves them at brunch? And I’m a big fan of eggs Benedict, and admire creativity with the choice of “toppings” served with a poached egg, but how come this often translates into stinginess. Last Sunday I tried a French place in Carroll Gardens, and I won’t go into details, but calling what I had “eggs Benedict” was certainly a misnomer.

A few months ago, I started getting wise. Most brunch items are easy to make at home, and you can linger over your meal, without having someone hovering over you waiting to collect the check. Here are some tips to enjoy a brunch at home.

DRINKS: Of course, bloody Mary’s are the way to go, and most people are really partial to their favorite preparation, so I won’t go into how I prefer mine. Mimosa are also easy to make, as are Screwdrivers. But if you want to switch it up a bit, here are some ideas to try:

• White Port and Seltzer
• Lillet, Seltzer and a splash of Citron
• Faux Sangria, red wine and oj
• White wine, seltzer and a splash of pom juice

THE OVEN: Use the oven, the rule of thumb should be, the more people you serve, the more you should use your oven. Tray pans of potatoes (chunks tossed in spices and roasted are easy and delicious), bacon, sausage evenly cook decent amounts for a crowd. Eggs cooked in toast (or a large hollowed out foccocia), Swedish oven pancakes and french toast “casserole” are other ways that keep you from having to do made-to-order of these brunch staples.

LUNCH ITEMS: I usually like to make at least one lunch salad, sometimes two. A nice green salad with lots of herbs (parsley, mint, tarragon) cut into it. Cantaloupe with green onions, rice vinegar and slivered pepperoni. Non-mayonnaise macaroni salad works too.

The more options the merrier. And the best part about it is that you get to spend quality time with the people you’re brunching with, truly worth the effort.

Now I understand why some people are picky eaters. It’s not because they are assholes or afraid, it’s because of the number of tastebuds they have:

25% of people are “supertasters“. Women are more likely to be supertasters than men, as well are people from Asia, Africa and South America. It sounds cooler than it really is. The name conjures up images of some sort of superhuman ability or someone whose tongue is constantly on the miracle fruit. But in actuality, it’s not so great. Yes, supertasters are better at identifying subtle flavors in wine and caviar. However, they are super sensitive to bitter foods. This creates an aversion to: Coffee, grapefruit, Brussels sprouts, spinach and other dark greens, green tea and ALCOHOL. Supertasters over the age of 65 are also more likely to have colon polyps. Sucks for you, dude.

25% are non-tasters. With a very small concentration of tastebuds, they don’t really care much about taste or how food is prepared and generally just scarf down food. These are the type of people who keep T.G.I. Friday’s and Ellio’s Pizza in business. I think dogs and dads fall into this category.

50% of people are normal tasters. We norms enjoy a wide variety of foods. The food world is our oyster! Aaaaah. Jealous, much?

Supertaster article on BBC
Article about supertasters and wine critics
How to test if you are a supertaster

This is an addendum to my previous post about MSG.

It’s amazing how much I learn while on the toilet. I was reading the MSG entry in “The Food Lover’s Tiptionary” just now. (Which is a reference book that I highly recommend to anyone who who takes cooking seriously - before you buy any cookbook or use any recipe, buy this book). Here’s what the entry said:

“The FDA doesn’t require a separate MSG listing when any of the following (MSG-laden) ingredients are present: hydrolyzed vegetable protein, hydrolyzed plant protein, Kombu extract, and natural flavoring seasoning.”

The FDA said it can’t guarantee that all the contaminated dog and cat food have been removed from store shelves. I’ve been feeding Pokey Pedigree for the last few years (luckily not on the Menu Foods recall list). Regardless, this toxic dog food business has got me thinking of what the hell I’m forcing my dog to eat.

When Matt and I were apartment hunting, we drove by a Merrick truck. I had never heard of Merrick before. I saw there was a picture on the side of the truck of a tin can labeled “turducken” and I flipped out. Matt and I could’t figure out what it was. I was hoping it would be delicious stock or broth. Matt thought it might be gravy. It took us a few minutes to figure out it was dog food. I was kinda jealous.

It just so happens that the New York Magazine’s best pet store in Brooklyn*, Love Thy Pet, is a block away from our new place. So I took Pokey there and they gave him treats and a free can of dog food - Wingalings, made by Merrick ($1.79-$2.38 for a large 13.2 oz can).

This stuff looks good. Like REALLY good. Like if I was drunk enough, I’d probably try it. Hey, don’t judge - it’s free of artificial flavors, colors and preservatives. There are even whole chicken wings inside the can! The label says the bones have been softened and are perfectly safe for your dog to eat. Unlike those tainted Menu Foods dog foods, Merrick uses minimal processing. I figured since I started eating better in last few months, Pokey should too. Especially since he’s become a lazy, fat bastard. I am pretty sure that a can of Merrick dog food is healthier for you to consume than a Hungry Man Dinner - in case you are poor, hungry and/or drunk.

Merrick dog food, cat food and treats are available at better pet stores, some health food stores and online.

Soft food (what you probably call “wet food”) flavors come in: Thanksgiving Day Dinner, Turducken, Venison Holiday Stew, Wild Buffalo Grill, Wingaling, Wilderness Blend, Working Dog Stew, Rocky Mountain Rainbow, Senior Medley, Smothered Comfort, Puppy Plate, Mediterranean Banquet, New Zealand Summer, Cowboy Cookout, French Country Paté, Grammy’s Pot Pie, Harvest Moon, Brauts-n-Tots and a tasting menu called Gourmet Lunch Box which contains eight different flavors ($13.50-23). Hard food (what you probably call “dry food”) also available.

Merrick’s website (You can find cheaper places online to buy it then directly through them - like in bulk on Amazon!)

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*By “Brooklyn” I mean Boerum Hill / Cobble Hill / Carroll Gardens - The only parts of Brooklyn (aside from Park Slope) that that magazine deems worthy of recognition. Unless they are picking on hipsters in Williamburg, which is like shooting fish in a barrel.

It’s been awhile since I posted something about libations.

Here’s an article about how to best score buybacks from a bar.

How to Get a Buyback 

Too much bacon can be bad for your lungs?!